Yes, I think I can dance...and sing, cook, sew, and model

I am addicted to reality shows. Not all of them, mind you, and not addicted like an addict is for crack or a fat kid is for cake, but nevertheless, craving my reality show goodness.
My plot of choice?
Take X number of people who all want to (become the next American Idol, Top Model, fashion designer, Top Chef, or favorite dancer in America). Put them through sometimes painful audition processes, make them jump through 5 page 'applications', and then shove them in a house/apartment/mansion/shack on the beach to build camaraderie and allow us to hear "I'm not here to make friends" a million times.

I want to be one of these people. But only for about 5 minutes.

As a rather talentless person, I cannot sing, I dance like a spastic hamster, the last shirt I made looked more like an...I don't even know, it was that bad...and I burn Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. Oh, and I'm really short and rotund, so modeling is definitely out. That does not mean, however, that I can't dream of one day joining the ranks of....that guy from "So You Think You Can Dance", or that chick from "Top Chef".

And as long as they keep airing these shows, I'll keep watching, ignoring my own lack of talent as I laugh at Bob's ability to sew a proper hem or Joe's forgetting to salt his food. Because what is reality TV for if not to make us feel better about ourselves? Barring that, pointing and mocking is always good for a laugh or two.

For love of the Living Dead...pt. 1

Having just finished re-reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and inspired by this awesome article, I have decided to compile my list of favorite movie Zombies (in no particular order at the moment), part 1.

1) Karen, the Little Girl from Night of the Living Dead
Sure, she seems sweet and innocent at first - a sick little girl seeking shelter at the farmhouse. Then it all goes terribly wrong. Who wasn't shocked the first time they watched NotLD and saw Karen eating her Dad before stabbing her mom and running upstairs to join the zombie attack?


2) Bub, Day of the Dead
Ok, so he's chained up by the post-zombie apocalypse survivors living in an underground bunker in Florida. But while the scientists think that they're domesticating him, he's really just biding his time. Because being able to shave, brush his teeth, and listen to sweet tunes with his Walkman can't distract him from the pull of juicy brains.
Plus, he can fire a gun with remarkable aim for a dead guy.

3) Ed, Shaun of the Dead
If your best mate is already a lazy slop who dribbles food on himself and has a decided lack of hygiene at times, becoming a zombie might not be that much of a transition. After heroically battling the forces of zombiedom, Ed sacrifices himself to save his mates, and ends up a zombie. A chained-in-the-shed, video game playing zombie.

4) Fido, Fido
A product od space dust, Fido is one of many zombies domesticated thanks to ZomCom's collars. He mows the lawn, helps a lonely housewife, and befriends her young son. Of course, he still takes time to eat the neighbors. He's the Old Yeller of Zombies.